TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-18-25
APPROVED
Polymer McGillicuddy
Strength86
Speed72
Endurance88
Technique78
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers13
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Polymer McGillicuddy VS Store Brand Stephanie
Store Brand Stephanie
77Strength
63Speed
79Endurance
71Technique
2.7Molecular Density
26Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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