TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-21-25
APPROVED
Loch Ness Monster
Strength83
Speed70
Endurance76
Technique71
Molecular Density28.4
Existential Dread62
Fingers15
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Loch Ness Monster VS Don Vito
Don Vito
120Strength
20Speed
40Endurance
120Technique
72.6Molecular Density
52Existential Dread
20Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Loch Ness Monster
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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