TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-21-25
APPROVED
Toaster Bath
Strength57
Speed76
Endurance81
Technique96
Molecular Density33.0
Existential Dread24
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Toaster Bath VS Nancy From HR
Nancy From HR
66Strength
87Speed
84Endurance
63Technique
83.0Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
12Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Nancy From HR
Violence concluded.
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