TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-21-25
APPROVED
Student Loan Samantha
Strength60
Speed90
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread98
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Student Loan Samantha VS Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson
73Strength
82Speed
77Endurance
91Technique
1.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Student Loan Samantha
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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