TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-21-25
APPROVED
Engine Eberhardt
Strength90
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Engine Eberhardt VS Autoplay Assassin
Autoplay Assassin
77Strength
93Speed
72Endurance
88Technique
2.0Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Autoplay Assassin
Violence concluded.
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