TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-22-25
APPROVED
Dust Bunny Dominator
Strength85
Speed58
Endurance79
Technique68
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dust Bunny Dominator VS Birthday Alone Barry
Birthday Alone Barry
68Strength
82Speed
79Endurance
71Technique
1.7Molecular Density
77Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Birthday Alone Barry
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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