TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-22-25
APPROVED
Ingrown Toenail Igor
Strength74
Speed86
Endurance73
Technique77
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread71
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Ingrown Toenail Igor VS Dead Houseplant Duncan
Dead Houseplant Duncan
75Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
70Technique
1.5Molecular Density
64Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Ingrown Toenail Igor
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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