TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-22-25
APPROVED
Deductible Dave "The Crusher"
Strength69
Speed85
Endurance66
Technique70
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread63
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Deductible Dave "The Crusher" VS The First Prime Number
The First Prime Number
78Strength
76Speed
60Endurance
86Technique
72.1Molecular Density
9Existential Dread
12Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Deductible Dave "The Crusher"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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