TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-22-25
APPROVED
Chairman Meow
Strength85
Speed62
Endurance84
Technique69
Molecular Density87.7
Existential Dread66
Fingers6
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chairman Meow VS Thighmaster Flex
Thighmaster Flex
98Strength
62Speed
91Endurance
49Technique
1.9Molecular Density
12Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Thighmaster Flex
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems