TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-23-25
APPROVED
Low Battery Mode
Strength100
Speed2
Endurance101
Technique100
Molecular Density10.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers20
Toes20
TALE OF THE TAPE
Low Battery Mode VS BO BAX JR FACT
BO BAX JR FACT
60Strength
100Speed
60Endurance
80Technique
38.9Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Low Battery Mode
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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