TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-23-25
APPROVED
The Rubber Stamp
Strength60
Speed95
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density41.3
Existential Dread85
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rubber Stamp VS Trash Expander
Trash Expander
80Strength
120Speed
50Endurance
50Technique
72.9Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
13Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Rubber Stamp
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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