TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-23-25
APPROVED
The Thing in the Air Ducts
Strength68
Speed66
Endurance69
Technique87
Molecular Density0.7
Existential Dread98
Fingers6
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Thing in the Air Ducts VS Patch Note Pete
Patch Note Pete
80Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
2.5Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Patch Note Pete
Violence concluded.
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