TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-23-25
APPROVED
Captain Hindsight
Strength58
Speed92
Endurance71
Technique79
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread84
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Captain Hindsight VS Toaster Bath
Toaster Bath
53Strength
74Speed
73Endurance
90Technique
33.0Molecular Density
24Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Captain Hindsight
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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