TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-23-25
APPROVED
Paul McCartney
Strength55
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Paul McCartney VS Comfort Gecko
Comfort Gecko
44Strength
88Speed
68Endurance
92Technique
0.3Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
4Fingers
4Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Comfort Gecko
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems