TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-23-25
APPROVED
Static Cling
Strength61
Speed89
Endurance78
Technique72
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread76
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Static Cling VS The Unsubscribe Link
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85Strength
44Speed
102Endurance
59Technique
0.0Molecular Density
127Existential Dread
1Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
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Violence concluded.
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