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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 24, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Kennedy Loser

Kennedy Loser

Strength30
Speed40
Endurance35
Technique45
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Kennedy Loser VS Basement Dweller Brad
Basement Dweller Brad

Basement Dweller Brad

43Strength
42Speed
62Endurance
75Technique
2.1Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
14Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Kennedy Loser
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule