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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 24, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Ingrown Toenail Igor

Ingrown Toenail Igor

Strength73
Speed88
Endurance71
Technique78
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread71
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Ingrown Toenail Igor VS Prior Authorization Paul
Prior Authorization Paul

Prior Authorization Paul

83Strength
70Speed
69Endurance
78Technique
2.9Molecular Density
58Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Ingrown Toenail Igor
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule