TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-24-25
APPROVED
Double Cup Dwayne
Strength68
Speed72
Endurance81
Technique79
Molecular Density82.7
Existential Dread43
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Double Cup Dwayne VS Donut Handler
Donut Handler
77Strength
61Speed
86Endurance
76Technique
62.7Molecular Density
49Existential Dread
8Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Donut Handler
Violence concluded.
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