TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-24-25
APPROVED
Toaster Bath
Strength55
Speed75
Endurance77
Technique93
Molecular Density33.0
Existential Dread24
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Toaster Bath VS Banana Hammurabi
Banana Hammurabi
73Strength
53Speed
79Endurance
95Technique
20.0Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
13Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Banana Hammurabi
Violence concluded.
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