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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, October 25, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Ingrown Toenail Igor

Ingrown Toenail Igor

Strength74
Speed85
Endurance73
Technique78
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread71
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Ingrown Toenail Igor VS Beef Supreme
Beef Supreme

Beef Supreme

96Strength
62Speed
84Endurance
74Technique
2.4Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Beef Supreme
Violence concluded.
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