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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-08-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, November 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Empty Fridge at 2AM

Empty Fridge at 2AM

Strength84
Speed67
Endurance74
Technique75
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread81
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Empty Fridge at 2AM VS Background Blur Betty
Background Blur Betty

Background Blur Betty

55Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Empty Fridge at 2AM
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule