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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-08-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, November 8, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
guwap

guwap

Strength87
Speed60
Endurance76
Technique77
Molecular Density96.7
Existential Dread56
Fingers13
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
guwap VS Spandex Nightmare
Spandex Nightmare

Spandex Nightmare

75Strength
90Speed
78Endurance
92Technique
2.9Molecular Density
50Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Spandex Nightmare
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule