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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Autoplay Assassin

Autoplay Assassin

Strength75
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Autoplay Assassin VS Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake

65Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
92Technique
2.0Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Autoplay Assassin
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule