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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, November 11, 2025 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Mop Chop Molly

Mop Chop Molly

Strength80
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique70
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mop Chop Molly VS Patch Note Pete
Patch Note Pete

Patch Note Pete

80Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
2.5Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Patch Note Pete
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule