TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-12-25
APPROVED
Neckbeard Nathan
Strength65
Speed60
Endurance85
Technique95
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread92
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Neckbeard Nathan VS Knuckle up Nick
Knuckle up Nick
75Strength
71Speed
71Endurance
83Technique
64.9Molecular Density
84Existential Dread
25Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Knuckle up Nick
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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