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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, November 13, 2025 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Sleep Paralysis Pam

Sleep Paralysis Pam

Strength61
Speed72
Endurance84
Technique93
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread99
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sleep Paralysis Pam VS Bolognese Blitz
Bolognese Blitz

Bolognese Blitz

90Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
60Technique
3.3Molecular Density
30Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bolognese Blitz
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule