TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-13-25
APPROVED
Store Brand Stephanie
Strength79
Speed65
Endurance83
Technique73
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread26
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Store Brand Stephanie VS Syrup Strangler
Syrup Strangler
78Strength
74Speed
73Endurance
75Technique
2.9Molecular Density
42Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Syrup Strangler
Violence concluded.
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