TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-13-25
APPROVED
Yogurt the Destroyer
Strength93
Speed51
Endurance97
Technique69
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Yogurt the Destroyer VS The Intern
The Intern
61Strength
78Speed
95Endurance
66Technique
1.0Molecular Density
109Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Yogurt the Destroyer
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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