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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, November 13, 2025 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Ctrl+Z

Ctrl+Z

Strength88
Speed71
Endurance59
Technique82
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread63
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Ctrl+Z VS Splinter Testimony
Splinter Testimony

Splinter Testimony

71Strength
77Speed
66Endurance
76Technique
1.2Molecular Density
39Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

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Violence concluded.
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