TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-13-25
APPROVED
The Unsubscribe Link
Strength91
Speed45
Endurance103
Technique61
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread127
Fingers1
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Unsubscribe Link VS Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
55Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
95Technique
1.6Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
Violence concluded.
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