TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-18-25
APPROVED
Are You Afraid of the Shark
Strength90
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Are You Afraid of the Shark VS Déjà Vu Again
Déjà Vu Again
70Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.4Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Déjà Vu Again
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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