TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-18-25
APPROVED
Insurance Denial Ian
Strength86
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique98
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Insurance Denial Ian VS Dr. Burnout Betty
Dr. Burnout Betty
70Strength
85Speed
95Endurance
92Technique
2.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Insurance Denial Ian
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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