TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-22-25
APPROVED
Fists McExistential
Strength88
Speed55
Endurance70
Technique62
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread97
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fists McExistential VS Basement Dweller Brad
Basement Dweller Brad
43Strength
42Speed
62Endurance
75Technique
2.1Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
14Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fists McExistential
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems