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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, November 22, 2025 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Implied

The Implied

Strength55
Speed83
Endurance77
Technique85
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread92
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Implied VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy

Polymer McGillicuddy

88Strength
75Speed
91Endurance
80Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
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