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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, November 22, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Polymer McGillicuddy

Polymer McGillicuddy

Strength88
Speed75
Endurance91
Technique80
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers13
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Polymer McGillicuddy VS War Machine
War Machine

War Machine

85Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
60Technique
2.8Molecular Density
10Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule