TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-25-25
APPROVED
404 Error Evan
Strength80
Speed85
Endurance65
Technique70
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread57
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
404 Error Evan VS SwizzleSchtick
SwizzleSchtick
50Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
120Technique
33.3Molecular Density
96Existential Dread
8Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
404 Error Evan
Violence concluded.
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