TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-25-25
APPROVED
Skunkhand Jenkins
Strength60
Speed20
Endurance120
Technique100
Molecular Density24.3
Existential Dread80
Fingers8
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Skunkhand Jenkins VS Darryl Blueberry
Darryl Blueberry
50Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
120Technique
76.8Molecular Density
77Existential Dread
12Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Darryl Blueberry
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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