TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-25-25
APPROVED
Grill Master Gary
Strength90
Speed55
Endurance85
Technique75
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grill Master Gary VS Comfort Gecko
Comfort Gecko
50Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
92Technique
0.3Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
4Fingers
4Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Grill Master Gary
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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