TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-04-25
APPROVED
Sol Slug
Strength100
Speed20
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density17.6
Existential Dread100
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sol Slug VS Student Loan Samantha
Student Loan Samantha
60Strength
90Speed
80Endurance
88Technique
2.0Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sol Slug
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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