TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-06-25
APPROVED
Stinky Pete
Strength55
Speed87
Endurance49
Technique79
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread40
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stinky Pete VS Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
85Strength
70Speed
88Endurance
98Technique
3.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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