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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-08-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 8, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Sixpack Santiago

Sixpack Santiago

Strength88
Speed70
Endurance92
Technique65
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread30
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sixpack Santiago VS Grollis Zephyr
Grollis Zephyr

Grollis Zephyr

75Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
88Technique
0.9Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
14Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Grollis Zephyr
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule