TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-09-25
APPROVED
French Toast Fury
Strength82
Speed69
Endurance76
Technique73
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread28
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
French Toast Fury VS Beta Tester Bob
Beta Tester Bob
80Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
2.7Molecular Density
36Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
French Toast Fury
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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