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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 10, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Moth With a Knife

Moth With a Knife

Strength15
Speed99
Endurance45
Technique76
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread103
Fingers0
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Moth With a Knife VS Gilbert Gottfried
Gilbert Gottfried

Gilbert Gottfried

30Strength
70Speed
65Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Gilbert Gottfried
Violence concluded.
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