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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 10, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Slosh Gulp

Slosh Gulp

Strength60
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Slosh Gulp VS Sol Slug
Sol Slug

Sol Slug

100Strength
20Speed
60Endurance
120Technique
17.6Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
6Fingers
14Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Sol Slug
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule