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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 10, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Micromanage Mike

Micromanage Mike

Strength80
Speed60
Endurance80
Technique80
Molecular Density3.0
Existential Dread72
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Micromanage Mike VS Reality Buffering…
Reality Buffering…

Reality Buffering…

60Strength
85Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
0.8Molecular Density
97Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Reality Buffering…
Violence concluded.
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