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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 10, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bathtub Ring Bobby

Bathtub Ring Bobby

Strength69
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique76
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread34
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bathtub Ring Bobby VS Toilet Bowl Stain Steve
Toilet Bowl Stain Steve

Toilet Bowl Stain Steve

79Strength
67Speed
75Endurance
79Technique
3.1Molecular Density
48Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bathtub Ring Bobby
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule