TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-11-25
APPROVED
Toilet Bowl Stain Steve
Strength79
Speed67
Endurance75
Technique79
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread48
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Toilet Bowl Stain Steve VS Moldy Shower Curtain Mike
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike
77Strength
74Speed
76Endurance
73Technique
3.8Molecular Density
52Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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