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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 11, 2025 at 10:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Spandex Nightmare

Spandex Nightmare

Strength75
Speed90
Endurance78
Technique92
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread50
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spandex Nightmare VS The Submitted for Approval
The Submitted for Approval

The Submitted for Approval

70Strength
95Speed
80Endurance
88Technique
2.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Submitted for Approval
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule