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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 11, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Robert Trujillo

Robert Trujillo

Strength80
Speed80
Endurance88
Technique85
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread35
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Robert Trujillo VS Closing Time Tim
Closing Time Tim

Closing Time Tim

85Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
2.4Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Closing Time Tim
Violence concluded.
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