TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-13-25
APPROVED
Bacon Windfall
Strength86
Speed69
Endurance78
Technique75
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bacon Windfall VS Nick Carter
Nick Carter
45Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
1.5Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bacon Windfall
Violence concluded.
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